Old crush re-introduced into my life...

S

Shadow predator

Guest
Well, I've been dumped though email by my exgirlfriend about 2 months ago, after a year and eight months having the relationship. Cause was my fault though, can't blame her. (I accepted nudie-pictures of some girl at the other side of MSN and kept it secret from my girlfriend, even though I saw them as just nudies you could get from any site, anominous, since I feared she'd overreact. Irony is that I always hated cheating on partners, so I became what I most hated)
So I learn from my mistakes, accept that she doesn't want a relationship and move on. Uncomfortable, but doable.

Recently I stumbled uppon a forum-profile of this girl during random clicking various profiles, and without even enlarging the pictures that I knew her. I instantly knew who it was, where I first saw her and how I always responded to her.

Years ago, and I do mean years, I was single and was at highschool. She attended the same school. I had a severe crush on her, she had something special... That lay low for a while and I had 2 relationships inbetween. Yet every time I saw here I searched for eyecontact and hoped for awkward smiles. Those never came, perhaps because she's shy, perhaps because she's just not into me. She always turned her head when I looked directly at her.
Long story short: I never told her I liked her as far as I knew her.

Now, since I've stumbled upon her profile on that forum, I have all the signs again: butterfly feeling in the belly, waiting for respons on my messages, teasing etc... Just for the fact: she's 20, I'm 23...

Now, I'm really dreaded how to handle this. At one hand I'd say: let it slide, it's too soon after my previous relation, at the other I'd say: you'd be stupid to let her walk away just like that...
She lives right around the corner of my parent's home, has 4 dogs and we have contact through the forum for about 3 days now.
I don't know how to handle this smooth.
I think of taking our own dog for a walk and walk by several times, but I can also invite her for a walk with the dogs. Just to get to know each other...

Can anyone give me advice or even feedback? (besides the fact that I'm pathetic :p)
 
M

Maverick118

Guest
Dude, never think you're pathetic. It's a bad attitude to have about ones self. It attracts bad karma and all kinds of self destructive ****.

What to do? Talk to her. You have a 50/50 chance as you do with any choice in life. You can sit there thinking "am I good enough, does my breath stink will I dry up when I talk to her" and then think "no I won't put myself through it" then beat yourself up about "what if?"
You've already got common ground, in the fact you've got dogs. Simply talk to her, and take things from there. But whatever you do don't go there thinking about what comes next. Take it naturally. I used to be like this years ago, until I learnt not to give a toss about the outcome. If she likes you fine, if she doensn't thats' fine too. The world won't stop, and it won't stop other women/people from liking you.
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
I know I'm not pathetic, but my experience with gal's just doesn't make it much easier. Though I might do just fine, I'm pretty shy and introvert and doubt about every step I make. Though all my longer relationships, things went very natural. My first girlfriend for example. I met her at a sort of reunion, no people in my age-categorie, except her. She had some magazines, and I made a remark such as: "you're quite a bookworm, aren't you?" and we started talking.

In this case, my presenting-plan is much allong those lines: invite her for a walk with the dogs, perhaps with our own dog too (IF they can get allong, else I would be more busy keeping the dogs apart than I would like :p), tell her with a smirk on my face that I had a crush on her years ago and see how she'd react... Then go from there.
 
T

The Xcalibor

Guest
My advice, and take it or leave it, is just to be her friend. The most beautiful relationships blossom from strong friendships. There is nothing wrong with asking to get together to get to know her better and to genuinly try to be friends. If she don't want to be your friend, then oh well, you don't need her. Just my advice mate, no need in being shy about it.

KEITH
 
S

Shataan

Guest
Never... give up a good thing, or a chance, if you can at all help it. I did a long time ago, and regret it to this very day. No gutz, no glory. Every little thing thats good that comes along is a Blessing. I call these things the "sweet things in life". Better sweet, than bittersweet. :0)
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
Asked her for a walk with the dogs, to get to know each other more. Awaiting response...
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
And I was thinking Hunters were gifted with near endless patience...

Invited her to walk, she replied she can't because of medical reasons (anklebands healed the wrong way, so she has to be careful). Though she can ride the bike, who knows...
 
B

bammatrooper

Guest
i've basically have been dealling with the same thing
this girl in my science class i've liked her since last year and i just cant get the nerve to ask her out
so basically we're in the same situaition
 
M

MEANGENE83

Guest
Dudes.

Lemme pass on a lil wisdom. Im 23. Not that far from being in high school.

There was this chick, i was friends with. She was hotter than my current FAT UGLY MEAN girlfriend of the time. I choose to not dump my FAT UGLY MEAN girlfriend and in turn never got the chance to nail this chick in high school.

I have since dumped said fat ungly mean girlfriend and moved on to a smokin hot awesome girlfriend who is 100% the girl i wanna marry.

BUT with all that said. I WISH TO GOD i just had the balls to do what i knew could be done and ask this girl out in high school. WHy cuz she woulda been awesome.

LIFE IS ALL about experience. GOOD and bad. Just ask these girls out, ask em all out. WHO CARES!?!?! Ya got nuthin to loose. NOTHING. JUST DO IT otherwise you will always wonder.

Sooner or later one of em will say yes!!! Unless ur the elephant man.

Ask these girls out and i will give you a fluckin BIO! OK?

Report back soldiers.
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
Well Bamma, if you start off fairly easy, take walks etc you might be well on your way. I'll post updates as soon as I go back to my parents' home, perhaps I'll succeed, perhaps not
 
B

bammatrooper

Guest
OK I WILL haha
i wanna bio
haha
hopefully i can get the nerve tomarrow
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
You don't ask her out for a date, just cassually hang around and get aquainted

Meantime I'm talking to her through MSN, turns out she is a bit shy and all, but that's OK. She has one issue though, and that is that she has a mental condition called "borderliner", which might make it harder...
Never give up, never surrender though, I really want to get to know her, even if there isn't much of a relationship in it I just think she's an A-OK person
 
P

pirkleations

Guest
Borderliner of what, if I may ask?

Nibs knows a lot about mental disorders. Heck! She married me!! But she's never heard of "borderliners". She's heard of borderline schizophrenic, though. Is that what your friend is referring to? She may also be borderline bipolar, which would not be so bad.

~DangerDavey
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
The term is just borderline here, symptoms are:
-Extreme moodswings
-Impulsivity
-Identity crisis
-Chronic feeling of emptiness
-Thinking only in black and white, no greyscale
-automutilation
-Psycotic and disassociative periods
-Fear of being left alone
-anger attacks; going full out without apperant reason...

So she's got a manual... Right now I'm mainly interested in getting to know her better, and flow from there

Edit: that would qualify as Borderline-bipolar I guess...
 
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bammatrooper

Guest
my sister is bipoler
she has some of those things mainly mood swings and anger and depression
the depression worsend when her close friend nick rosso died last october
it can kinda be bad
sometimes REAL BAD cause she would be like trhowing furnature anger
 
S

Shadow predator

Guest
Well, I have some of those symptoms too, but I manage to compensate them.

Men with these symptoms however are mostly diagnosed as antisocial personal behaviour...
 
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